The Most Wonderful, Awful Day!

  While editor of the 'Sentry' (my college newspaper), I attended a Media conference in Kansas City to take advantage of the newspaper seminars they offered (I needed all the help I could get!). There was also an awards banquet planned for all the college newspapers in Missouri, and our little paper was up for an award or two (I just knew we wouldn't get one, but it was good to be able to compete).

In one seminar classroom, they were showing slides that were very popular and the room quickly filled with people.  My friend, Robin McAlester (who was a fantastic assistant editor), and I had to go to the bathroom and when we returned there were only three vacant chairs left. One was at our college table and Robin squeezed through the crowd of people to sit with the other students from our school.  I made my way to one of the other two chairs that had been placed against a wall behind a group of rich, snobby-looking women (my own observational opinion).

Just as I sat down, someone dimmed the lights and the slide show began. Pretty soon, I heard someone sit beside me in the last available chair (the other chair  was a little behind me because I had turned my chair to face the front of the room). Anyway, I didn't have a clue about who had sit down close to me (and close to the snobby ladies, I might add).

At any rate, after awhile this person got up from his chair (I couldn't see him, I just heard the chair move and the noise of his leaving). Just as quickly, I smelled this god-awful stink and I knew immediately this person had let one of those "silent but deadly" gas explosions (the kind my Pops would have called a 'paint peeler' - the kind that would bring tears to your eyes - the kind that would make a dog howl and rub his nose with his paws!)...

     Well, anyway, I turned and saw this huge, fat man leaving the room and the people he passed were registering shocked looks.  His "gift" was following him, drifting all around as he walked past. I was glad to see him go! However, that left me alone behind these seemingly prim and proper ladies! Suddenly, I realized this smell had drifted their way. I saw them stiffen in their chairs and one turned to me with a look that could kill and said, "Well... my god!". I was so embarrassed, but there was nothing I could do about letting them know it wasn't me.

After the slide show, I quickly left the room and Robin soon caught up with me. I told her about the awful moment and she sympathized with me. Then we went into another room for a lecture, and just as we sat down (on the far side of the room), in walks this "giver of the gift". I poked Robin and pointed him out to her. She said she was sure glad he wasn't sitting next to us and I agreed (I certainly didn't want a repeat performance). Just as the speaker began his speech, in walks this prim-and-proper lady who had given me the, "you are a piece of garbage" look. You can imagine my shock when I saw her sit down beside the generous gas-man! Robin and I started laughing because we couldn't help saying how funny it would be if he let another bomb!


     Just before the lecture was over, I glanced over to see how the odd-couple were doing. Well... there is such a thing as justice, because the lady had turned sideways away from our dear "perfume maker". She was obviously upset with him. At that point I found it almost impossible to hold back my laughter. Tears were rolling down my cheeks and my whole body was shaking as I tried to regain control. Robin was having just as hard a time as I was, and people around us were wondering what in the world was going on! What an experience!


Later that night, at the awards banquet, our school paper won several awards. I took first place in photography and placed second and third in other entries. I was so proud, and that is why this day was my most wonderful, awful day!

This is a graduation picture of myself and Rocky Rockenbach. Out of a graduating class of over 300 students, Rocky and I were chosen as the two "Top Students". It was quite an honor and I burst into tears because I wasn't expecting it.

This is a graduation picture of myself and Robin McAlester.